overheard today...

(while i had the physical therapist on the phone that was tucked between my ear and my shoulder, and while holding the 116lb dog by the collar, and while simultaneously trying to let the eucharistic minister out the front door)...

Sister #1: "you are a vicious bitch"
Sister #2: "really? if you look HEINOUS bitch up in the dictionary, you'll see your picture."

it wasn't hard to overhear...since they were screaming.

nice.

how was your day?

mom is asleep in the sun room. while she sleeps she does one of a few things. right now, she is rubbing the shoulder that has been hurting for weeks. sometimes she is pointing to things and giving instructions in her sleep. she gets into rem sleep and makes graceful gestures with her hands.

i saw my cousins last night. timmy turned 40 and his one brother and four sisters all came to celebrate with him. they all adore my mom. each has a special relationship with her. for example, phillip, the oldest, is the doctor who visited her in the hospital last week. when he graduated from med school and started his own practice, mom worked for him for free for a few years, setting up his office so he could get on his feet. she and margie have quiet giggles about inside jokes, sheila and megan both have been crying all week. mom has been up to new jersey to see megan's kids in their school shows more than anyone else in the family. we were telling stories and taking care of each other. i don't remember if it was sheila or margie who told me that wowo, our grandfather, was designing buildings with his hands when he was dying.

it's so funny...because mom and wowo have the same hands.

when we came home and told mom about all of the conversations we had with our cousins, she was so happy. she and her older sister (the mother of the six) are thrilled that we all really enjoy and care for each other.

(well, almost all of us...vicious and heinous bitches excepted.)

mom's good friend, elly, came by to give mom communion. aunt jane came by so maura and i could make a run to target and to the grocery store. erin came by with an unexpected and much needed ham (our dinner) and aunt mary anne came by for some quiet time with mom.

buzzy is building a ramp outside the laundry room door. he is my sounding board when the others are deep in their drama.

we all love my mom madly. we all handle things differently. maura and magee explode and buzzy and i put our heads down and keep our hands busy. we get things done.

i am so glad buzzy is back. he has been my rock. he is productive and positive and sensitive. i have missed him so much.

a few weeks ago, i had a really great week with cat and max and jesper in florida. and i am struck by the similarities between taking care of someone who is just coming into the world and someone who is preparing to leave it. you are hyper aware of everything they eat and drink and you keep track of all of their bodily functions. and you are so happy and proud and slightly frightened when they stand up by themselves.

cat called me the other day to give me a pep talk, and i asked her what kind of baby monitor she was using. (she has this amazing monitor she uses to keep an eye on max.) it has a camera and a microphone and you can see and hear what he is doing while he is napping and you are going about your routine.

with max, i found so much joy in every little thing he accomplished. he sat up by himself the week that i was there. and he stood up in his crib by himself.

with mom, it's the same. i watch what she eats, i know how much she moves throughout the day, i know if she has pooped. she teases me about it. but it is all so important to me right now.

maura and i set up the monitor today.

i am sleeping in a bed tonight for the first time since the 3rd. and i have the little monitor by my bed.

and i still watch her breathe.