one of our timmys goes to virginia tech. he was in the building next to norris hall when the senseless killings took place.
he lost his lab partner from last semester.
and i feel an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and relief. because he and his sister and their mummy, sheila, should not have to hurt as much as they are hurting this week. when you are young and you feel, first hand, something as senseless as this, your world is forever changed. i want them all to have the brighter, shinier world that they had the week before. i remember how mummy felt when i suffered my first few hard knocks, so i know that sheila is hurting so much for timmy and for kaitlin.
and i am so relieved that he is okay and that they still have each other and that we still have all of them.
i know how loss feels. and i have felt it at different levels as i have lost people in my life. as horrible as it is to have lost mummy, i think losing a child would be even worse.
a few times i would catch my mind in the middle of the "what ifs" and the "what if we had gotten a phone call that timmy was injured or worse" chokes me up.
but we still have him. and that reminds me how lucky i am.
mummy is the one we call when crazy things like this happen. i remember calling her on the morning of september 11th when i saw the second plane go into the tower on tv. she was already on the phone with maura.
and, while i missed hearing her comforting voice this week, i had the same little moment of thankfulness that i had after september 11th.
because dad had died earlier that year, and i was glad he didn't live to see that.
and while i really miss her at times like these, i'm glad that mummy didn't have to experience this.
the rest of us are still here. and we are still breathing. and we still have our luminous timmy and kaitlin and sheila. and, again, i feel lucky.
