it is hard to be here without her.

that makes me think of the phrase "there is no i in team."

because there is no "here" without "her." for that matter...there is no "there" without "her."

and "nothing" is the same without "her."

i think i have been playing too much scrabble with my siblings because these kinds of things keep running through my head.

i am so happy to be here with my brother and sisters. it's just so wrong that she is not with us, enjoying this. she was taken from us way too soon. i am trying to stay happy. i don't want to waste this time being unhappy. i need to really pay attention to the good things since she is not here to enjoy them. i cannot let these sweet minutes go to waste.

i'm in her bed right now. in her room. surrounded by her things. comforting and devastating at the same time.