sweet little things that have come to me in flashes

maria eugenia velasco gave us a key to her house. the whole time mom was at sibley, she wanted us to have a comfortable place just a few miles away. we never used it...but we always knew it was there. she was there for us.
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maria brought us two grocery bags full of comfort food when we were camped out at the hospital.
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carolina velasco heard about maria's giant bags of junk food. soon afterwards, she came by the hospital with fresh fruit and healthy snacks to counter the comfort food maria had brought. she came in and sat with us and was bright and sparkly when we were all catatonic.
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maria and carolina's mummy reached out and hugged me as i walked down the aisle behind mummy's casket on the way out of the funeral. it was beyond sweet to see her and mr. velasco there. and when she whispered in my ear, "i remember how i felt when i lost my mother," it was terribly moving.
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kara's parents came, too. and at mummy's wake it was funny because they asked how i knew the browns. (they ran into friends who have a homes near both their maryland and maine homes) and i explained that mummy was a brown. it reminded me how small the world is.
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mike and carolee beck were there and cari lynn, too. mr. beck kissed his fingertips and pressed them on mummy's casket when we were walking out of the church. both mike and carol lee were so connected to mummy. i think kaki proctor was there, too.
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i tried really hard to find the right "casket spray" for mummy. i went to a florist in gaithersburg and gave them my dream list of flowers. hydrangea were on the top. the florist explained that i couldn't get hydrangea that would look good at that time of year, so i ended up getting something that looked like a bad thanksgiving centerpiece.

a fed-ex package came to the house a few days after mummy died. it was a package of live hydrangea from gabrielle that kara (or maria) put in a vase in the middle of the table in the sunroom.
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i don't remember exactly who did it...it was all a blur. but i do remember that kara and maria came over one night and helped me put together the cds for mummy's funeral.
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when we went to st. patrick's, i was supposed to pay the church and the organist and the tenor and i couldn't fill out a check correctly. and then sheila o'donnell came and took the check book out of my hands and listened while i spelled "petrucelli" and took all of that weight off of my shoulders.
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when i looked at the altar, there was the most beautiful flower arrangement i had ever seen. it was sooooo mummy. and it was full of live, fresh hydrangea. it was from her cousins, the browns.
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penny coppola (mummy's college roommate) called us on the night mummy was dying. i was laying next to magee on the floor while she was talking to penny. i could only hear magee's side of the conversation but the love that was coming out of the cordless was palpable.
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kara's mom drove all the way out to mom's house after everything was over and everyone was gone and brought us a full, family sized meal and an activity blanket that missy loves.
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when we were going through it, we were consumed by it. and all of our attention was on her. it is only now, when all of this time has passed, that i am remembering these simple, beautiful, loving gestures.

it is amazing that something simple like taking a pen and a checkbook out of someone's hand can make a difference. and more and more of these moments come back to me every day.

i've shifted from crying to smiling (for the most part). we have been blessed.