today, magee came by at 7:15am. (it might have been earlier, but i didn't hear her until 7:15.)

she's been going through the exact same depression i have. she has the same lack of patience, the same struggle to start the day, the same everything.

i guess that is to be expected, because we lost the same mother, but it still surprises me when i get an e-mail from her saying exactly what i am feeling.

so she came by last night and we both agreed that exercise is probably the best way to ease our lethargy.

we had decided to go to the track from 7:00am to 8:00am this morning.

but i was still asleep at 7:15am.

she asked me if i wanted to sleep in and i said "no," threw on some sneakers, grabbed an ipod (mummy's) and went for a brisk walk.

and later, when i was driving to work, i remembered a saying that mom thought was funny. i can't remember if it was on a magnet or a coffee mug or a notepad that she gave me. i do remember that it was a commentary on the look i used to give her when she would pop her head in my room in the mornings and say "rise and shine."

the saying was "i may rise, but i refuse to shine."

it made me smile.

because my strategy right now is "fake it 'til you make it." and i am pretending i am a functioning member of society until i actually become one again.

and i was quite happy that i got up and got some fresh air before i started my day.

again, baby steps.